Authentic Relating Night

In this nights Authentic Relating event we will be exploring the hidden stories we create through different practices and games curated to help us be more aware of them, learn how to allow space for them to exist and then connect to our self and another from the place beyond the story.

We all love a good story. A tale that we can relate to and get lost in as we enjoy the emotional journey that it may take us on. We may even follow along as if it was true and find some wisdom or meaning in it that helps us in our lives.  

Stories are fundamental to the human experience. They have been the foundation of passing down lore, morals and values throughout time and have great impact on how we experience the world. The stories we grow with shape our realities and are pivotal in how we see ourselves and communicate knowledge and wisdom with others. 

But one thing we often forget is that a story comes from a perspective, the story teller. Take the story of the 5 blind men who try to describe an elephant by each touching one part of it. 5 different experiences and descriptions of the same elephant are given.  Like the blind men, our minds too create stories about an experience or situations in our life that then becomes what we see. This  is a basic human survival function and helped keep us alive until today, yet it is important to acknowledge that the stories we created will never be the objective truth of the event itself. What do I mean by this?

Our stories are shaded by our judgements, interpretations and emotions as well as experiences of our childhood, leaving us with biased experiences of what has presently occurred. Our mind is designed to delete and distort the information we receive to match our experiences in our past with our current reality, thus affirming our story as truth.  This is the way we stay safe. 

 Awareness of this is not only important but fundamental to creating new stories especially, when it comes to relationships. As we try and connect with another, we begin to filter the information we are receiving and create stories of the other persons intentions, of our worth, of the meaning of words they used and many other variations. This creates a barrier between what is actually expressed and what is interpreted by us. As long as this barrier exists we cannot truly connect with ourselves or another.

Authentic relating gives us tools and helps build skills that allow us to recognise when we are in story mode, when another is in story mode and how to gently move through the story so that we may get to what lays beneath, the true expression of needs and desires that all humans share.