Grief & Connection Circle (October)

*Exact location in church TBA upon RSVP, closer to the event. Please note that this event is not affiliated with any religion and all faiths are welcome to join.

Dear one, what weighs heavy on your heart these days?

Is there grief in your life that doesn't have a place to go? A loss that still echoes quietly in the background of your days? An ache in your heart for the world? Or perhaps it's something harder to name — a heaviness, a longing, or simply the sense that something is wrong.

Grief is universal, yet many of us carry it alone. 

In a culture that often rushes past sorrow, many of us are left holding our losses privately, without spaces where they can be spoken, witnessed, and shared.

This circle is a gentle invitation to gather in community and remember that we do not have to carry it all by ourselves.

Together we will practice listening, sharing, and being human with one another. By making space for grief, something else often emerges too — our spark of aliveness, our capacity for connection, and the love that lives beneath it all.

"There is really only one way to restore a world that is dying and in disrepair: to make beauty where ugliness has set in. By beauty, I don't mean a superficial attractiveness, though the word is commonly used in this way. Beauty is a loveliness admired in its entirety, not just at face value. The beauty I'm referring to is metabolized grief. It includes brokenness and fallibility, and in so doing, conveys for us something deliciously real...When we come into contact with this kind of beauty, it serves as a medicine for the brokenness in ourselves, which then gives us the courage to live in greater intimacy with the world's wounds."

~ Toko-pa Turner

Part of what we practice here is widening our understanding of grief.

You might arrive wondering if what you're carrying is “big enough” to belong in a grief space. Often, our culture teaches us to minimize our sorrow or hold it quietly.

But grief has many shapes.

You may recognize yourself in some of these:

• the death of a loved one — human or animal

• the end of a relationship, marriage, or friendship

• loneliness, isolation, or feeling unseen

• illness, chronic pain, or changes in your body

• the loss of a home, place, or sense of belonging

• climate grief, ecological loss, or love for the Earth

• witnessing injustice, violence, or collective suffering

• burnout, overwhelm, or the pressures of modern life

• transitions — aging, becoming a parent, children leaving home, major life changes

• dreams that didn’t unfold the way you hoped

• the loss of a job, livelihood, or sense of purpose

• family wounds or ancestral grief

• feeling numb, disconnected, or unsure what you’re feeling at all

• the quiet grief of living in a world that often feels out of alignment with your values

• or grief that has no clear name, but is asking to be witnessed

If you're curious to join but not sure if this is for you, let's talk! Reach out at griefcircleWallaWalla@gmail.com

Our time together includes:

• large group sharing - taking uninterrupted turns sharing what's on our hearts with the large group (no more than 18 people)

• small group sharing - a chance to be witnessed with longer shares per person in groups of 2-3

• poetry or short readings

• simple, accessible ritual with stones and a bowl of water

You are always welcome to share, or simply listen. Both are meaningful ways of participating.

This is not therapy or a place where anyone will try to fix your grief. Instead, it is a space of community care where we practice witnessing, being witnessed, and softening around what feels hard and heavy to hold.

• your openness and vulnerability

• water bottle

• tissue or handkerchief

• something to sit on

  • **consider creating a nest for yourself...low camp chair, blanket, floor pillow, yoga mat, sheepskin.

• **CASH for donations (suggested $3-20)

• **items for our center altar (ex: photos, symbolic items, offering, flowers, candle)

• **items or practices that help you feel grounded (ex: tinctures, somatic exercises, humming, tapping, tea or plant ally)

( ** ) indicates optional items

PLEASE NOTE: the space we are renting has normal, higher chairs available. but we invite you to sit closer to the ground if you wish and are able.

While the intention is for the group to practice co-holding the space together, we will still facilitate the basic opening, structure, and closing of the circle. We are honored to grow alongside you in this shared act of community care.

Andriana Loren (she/they): As an apprenticing threshold tender, ritual facilitator, grief worker, and wilderness guide, Ana’s work explores the strange beauty of being human in a time of great unraveling — tending spaces where sorrow, an innate sense of belonging, and our whole range of self expression can surface. Since 2020 she has been training to facilitate council-style circles, community grief rituals, and wilderness rites of passage.

Jody Washburn (she/her): As a teacher, scholar, musician, and life-long wonderer, Jody is committed to interdisciplinary and community-based work that is responsive to the uncertainty inherent in living at this juncture in time and space. While her training is primarily in Hebrew Bible and the languages and cultures of the ancient Near East, she also has training in social work, and a sustained interest in facilitating collaborative storytelling spaces.

Email us at griefcircleWallaWalla@gmail.com with questions or concerns.

We are indebted to the teachings coming through many different wisdom keepers, including:

• Sobonfu and Malidoma Somé of the Dagara people

• Laurence Cole and Thérèse Charvet's grief mentorship program

• Gigi Coyle and Jack Zimmerman's Way of Council

• Joanna Macy's Work that Reconnects

• Martín Prechtel

• Francis Weller

UPDATE: We acknowledge the complexity in naming some of these individuals, who are not immune to the own shortcomings and shadows of being imperfect humans in this world. We reject the notion of worshipping or pedestalizing these teachers, but we do honor the many ways in which the wisdom they brought forth has deeply impacted the grief tending community. We do not want to banish or cancel these individuals for their messiness and humanness. We are in an active inquiry of how to decentralize wisdom-keeping and culture-keeping, favoring the celebration of the collective over any one teacher or guru.

To understand more of the context, please check out this Substack article on Francis Weller.

This is a peer-supported community space. We are not licensed therapists, and this is not a substitute for professional mental health care.

We invite everyone to practice radical self-care and to honor their own capacity throughout our time together. You are always welcome to pass, listen quietly, step outside, or take a break at any time. Please share only what feels true and within your capacity in the moment.

Before the event, you may wish to spend a little time reflecting on your relationship to grief — perhaps through journaling, quiet time, prayer, or time in nature.

Grief work can be powerful and sometimes activating. We encourage participants to plan gentle support for themselves after our circle — whether that means connecting with trusted friends, spending time in nature, resting, or seeking support from a therapist or other healing practitioner.

To help create a space of trust, depth, and care, we’ll experiment with a few simple shared agreements. These aren’t rigid rules, but invitations that help us listen deeply, speak honestly, build trust, and care for one another while we’re together.

1. Speak from the HEART
   We practice sharing from our own lived experience, favoring feelings and truth over analysis or explanation. We speak what feels authentic and ready, moving at the speed of trust and honoring the quiet inner voice within.

2. Listen from the HEART
   We practice deep, compassionate listening. Rather than fixing or judging, we offer presence and curiosity, seeking understanding and witnessing one another with care.

3. Get to the HEART of the Matter (Brevity)
   We practice being lean with words so many voices can be heard. Sharing what feels most alive and essential helps the circle stay connected to what matters most.

4. Follow the HEART of the Moment (Spontaneity)
   We allow our sharing to arise naturally rather than rehearsing. If something feels alive in your chest, trust that impulse — the circle deepens when we speak from the present moment.

5. Keep it Close to the HEART (Confidentiality)
   Stories shared here are sacred. We honor the trust of the circle by keeping personal stories and names within this space.

6. Practice Radical Self-Care
   We listen to our bodies and honor our personal capacity. You are always welcome to pause, step outside, rest, or ask for support if needed.

7. Respect Boundaries & Consent
   We practice asking before offering touch and honoring the answer we receive. Everyone is encouraged to listen to their own boundaries and respect the boundaries of others.

8. Welcome Discomfort, Mystery, and Silence
   Grief work can bring moments of uncertainty or quiet. We practice allowing these experiences without rushing to fill the space.

9. Create a Culture of Repair & Accountability
   This circle is co-created by everyone present. If moments of tension or misunderstanding arise, we approach them with honesty, care, and a willingness to repair.

By honoring agreements, we are fostering an environment of courage and vulnerability. While we cannot create a 100% “safe space” for all of us, our prayer is to co-create a “safe-enough” space to lean into our truth and edges, and to practice building trust with each other.