Choose your tickets
ADULT ticket
Remember when I used to do these little spiels in the ticket descriptions? Sometimes they were funny, sometimes they were political, mostly they were passive aggressive. Well, they're back, baby, and I don't see no word limit so strap in because I got an opinion on something! How is it that we as a species have decided that instead of just buying pants that fit our bodies, we will strap ourselves in like livestock with a long strip of leather and a medieval torture buckle. Why are we still doing this? We put a man on the moon, we can 3D print kidneys, but Gary still has to cinch a cowhide noose around his waist just to keep his jeans from hitting the deck? Also, the belt is the most passive-aggressive clothing item ever invented. "Your pants don't fit? Just slap on this snake of shame and PRETEND you idiot." You know what's easier? BUY. PANTS. THAT. FIT. Pants come in sizes. They come in numbers. They come in stretchy waistbands and you’re still out there threading a leather tongue through a million hoops like some kind of sadistic puzzle wizard every morning? Grow up. And don't even get me started on belt holes. What if you're between holes? What if you're bloated? What if you lose two kilos? Guess what? You’re either cutting a janky new hole with a big knife like a deranged moron or you're waddling around with your pants either falling down or crushing your intestines. There is no in-between. THERE'S NO MERCY. Meanwhile everybody, suspenders exist. Hidden adjustable waistbands exist. Elastic waists. You could wear drawstrings. You could tailor your pants. You could even, god forbid, try them on before buying them. But no. No, you have to suffer through a daily battle against gravity armed with nothing but a strip of corporate bondage gear that digs into your flesh and declares, “I am barely containing this chaos.” This ticket admits one Adult.
Remember when I used to do these little spiels in the ticket descriptions? Sometimes they were funny, sometimes they were political, mostly they were passive aggressive. Well, they're back, baby, and I don't see no word limit so strap in because I got an opinion on something! How is it that we as a species have decided that instead of just buying pants that fit our bodies, we will strap ourselves in like livestock with a long strip of leather and a medieval torture buckle. Why are we still doing this? We put a man on the moon, we can 3D print kidneys, but Gary still has to cinch a cowhide noose around his waist just to keep his jeans from hitting the deck? Also, the belt is the most passive-aggressive clothing item ever invented. "Your pants don't fit? Just slap on this snake of shame and PRETEND you idiot." You know what's easier? BUY. PANTS. THAT. FIT. Pants come in sizes. They come in numbers. They come in stretchy waistbands and you’re still out there threading a leather tongue through a million hoops like some kind of sadistic puzzle wizard every morning? Grow up. And don't even get me started on belt holes. What if you're between holes? What if you're bloated? What if you lose two kilos? Guess what? You’re either cutting a janky new hole with a big knife like a deranged moron or you're waddling around with your pants either falling down or crushing your intestines. There is no in-between. THERE'S NO MERCY. Meanwhile everybody, suspenders exist. Hidden adjustable waistbands exist. Elastic waists. You could wear drawstrings. You could tailor your pants. You could even, god forbid, try them on before buying them. But no. No, you have to suffer through a daily battle against gravity armed with nothing but a strip of corporate bondage gear that digs into your flesh and declares, “I am barely containing this chaos.” This ticket admits one Adult.
$25.00+ $2.19 feeCONCESSION ticket
I kinda went off the rails with that rant over in the ADULT ticket description, I'm sorry about that. You probably didn't see it because your way over here in the CONCESSION ticket description, which is definitely for the best. That rant was unhinged and reflects poorly on me and I don't need you thinking I'm some kind of twisted freak with a vendetta against BIG PANT and their agenda to gaslight us in to believing that our own bodies are so molecularly unstable that it is utterly impossible to predict with any certainty what the dimensions of our body will be on any given day... I'm ranting again... Forgive me and don't worry about it. This ticket admits one Concession Card holder or Student and yes, we check at the door.
I kinda went off the rails with that rant over in the ADULT ticket description, I'm sorry about that. You probably didn't see it because your way over here in the CONCESSION ticket description, which is definitely for the best. That rant was unhinged and reflects poorly on me and I don't need you thinking I'm some kind of twisted freak with a vendetta against BIG PANT and their agenda to gaslight us in to believing that our own bodies are so molecularly unstable that it is utterly impossible to predict with any certainty what the dimensions of our body will be on any given day... I'm ranting again... Forgive me and don't worry about it. This ticket admits one Concession Card holder or Student and yes, we check at the door.
$20.00+ $1.97 feeINNER CIRCLE ticket
You must perform the secret handshake or produce an Inncer Circle Membership card to receive a $10 CASH REFUND at the box office.* Patrons wearing a belt at the time of claiming this benefit will void their entitlement to it.
You must perform the secret handshake or produce an Inncer Circle Membership card to receive a $10 CASH REFUND at the box office.* Patrons wearing a belt at the time of claiming this benefit will void their entitlement to it.
$25.00+ $2.19 fee- Package
PARTY OF FIVE ticket
Five Adults can buy this if they want. They don't have to though, that's their prerogative. One of the many perks of being an adult.
Five Adults can buy this if they want. They don't have to though, that's their prerogative. One of the many perks of being an adult.
Inclusions
- 5x ADULT
$100.00+ $9.85 fee - Package
PARTY OF TEN ticket
Yeah, fine, ok hot shot, you're an Adult with nine friends who like independent theatre performed in sheds behind kebab shops. Ok champ, if you say so chief.
Yeah, fine, ok hot shot, you're an Adult with nine friends who like independent theatre performed in sheds behind kebab shops. Ok champ, if you say so chief.
Inclusions
- 10x ADULT
$200.00+ $19.70 fee
Donations
Incite Change. Without Fear.
Your donation goes directly toward making bold, original, and thought-provoking work possible. It helps us pay artists fairly, support emerging talent, and keep grassroots theatre alive in our community. If you believe in accessible, independent, and locally-made art, please consider chipping in. Every bit helps, and we’re deeply grateful.
Your donation goes directly toward making bold, original, and thought-provoking work possible. It helps us pay artists fairly, support emerging talent, and keep grassroots theatre alive in our community. If you believe in accessible, independent, and locally-made art, please consider chipping in. Every bit helps, and we’re deeply grateful.