Practical Self-Compassion: 3 Secret Steps to Creating Your Inner Good Friend

• Have you ever talked yourself out of doing something you really wanted to or knew would be good for you?   
• Have you ever told yourself you are ugly or stupid or a failure in one way or another?  
• Do you ever feel lost in an emotion you don’t even understand, and tell yourself that this is just weakness or self-pity and to shake it off?

If that sounds like you – you are not alone!  Many people have developed an  inner voice that gives us tough love or advice, and encourages us to do things we may not want to do.  

It might have begun to help you reach goals and achieve much of what you are proud of in your life, but over time it might have become more of an enemy than an ally.   

This is when you begin to experience self-doubt, self-judgement and self-criticism… and rather than helping you reach your goals, the inner voice can cause us anxiety, sap our energy, and leave us exhausted and even burnt out. 

Many of us developed this voice as a young child as a way of coping in the world – I know I did - because it helped us achieve our goals.

 It can be scary to think about letting it go and create another way.  

• What if we gave up our self-discipline and slept in now and then?  
• What if we become unfocused and lazy?  
• What if we lose everything we worked so hard for?  

That fear is real – but there is another way…. And it does not involve quitting your job, sitting cross-legged for hours, focusing on your childhood or years and years of therapy. 

Judith Bowtell has coached hundreds of people over the past eight years to overcome barriers in their working lives, using the principles of self-compassion.  

Let me show you in just 30 minutes, the three key steps to discovering your own “good” friend who can support you instead of criticise you, help you instead of scare you, and give you the emotional resilience to create healthy boundaries, stand up for yourself, and ask for what you want.  

“I believe self-compassion is an essential element of effective leadership, not least because we can’t be truly kind to others if we’re not kind to ourselves first. Implementing the practice was very useful - it helped me preserve boundaries between life and work, improved my relationships with colleagues and allowed me to give myself a break when I needed it.”

Award-winning filmmaker and advocate, Emily Dash

"Living with persistent illnesses has been a challenge for me, personally and professionally. I have not been easy on myself but since Judith's coaching, I have a different perspective on my personal & professional life with kindness and compassion. I still have a long way to go but I now have skills to support myself whenever I fall down into the spirals of guilt & perfectionism."

Artist and disability advocate, Eugenie Lee

Judith Bowtell is a career and leadership coach, former government executive and arts leader.  She has been featured on ABC Radio, W4WN (Secret Success Stories), The Clyde Fitch Report (Arts & Politics) , Arts Hub, Business Chicks and Coaching Life magazine.