'Rough Sex', 'Choking' and Strangulation National Symposium - A Cross-Sector Conversation about the rise in Rough Sex

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‘Rough sex’ and ‘choking’ are on the rise in everyday sexual relationships. They are becoming normalised in contemporary movies, song lyrics, relationship advice and in mainstream pornography. This trend raises challenging questions about the role of new sexual norms, the place of consent, patterns of sexual and intimate partner violence, and the grey areas in between. This cross-sector national symposium will canvas the sociocultural medical, criminological and legal issues associated with a rise in ‘rough sex’, ‘choking’ and strangulation.

This event builds on conversations at the 2022 National Sexual Violence Conference about the increasing normalisation of ‘rough sex’ and explores the risks and harms associated with this trend that we are now seeing in Aotearoa. This symposium is a critical opportunity to address the importance of getting ‘rough sex’ and strangulation on the public agenda for all key stakeholders.

The objectives of the symposium are:

• to raise national cross-sector awareness and understanding around the rise in ‘rough sex’, ‘choking’ and strangulation and discuss current trends, challenges, and risks in Aotearoa New Zealand.
• to explore some of the social, legal, and medical contexts and issues.
• to initiate a conversation around an informed and consistent cross-sector response. Also, with a view to phase 2, as a wider public awareness campaign.

This symposium has been developed as a collaboration of the following rōpū members:

• Nikki Denholm (Project Director, The Light Project)
• Samantha Keene (Lecturer in Criminology, Te Herenga Waka Victoria University of Wellington)
• Nicola Gavey (Professor Psychology, Waipapa Taumata Rau University of Auckland)
• Kate Taylor (MEDSAC Board Chair)

Contributors include:

Prof Denise Wilson - AUT - Denise is an Associate Dean Māori Advancement and Professor of Māori Health. She advocates for health and social outcomes improvement for whānau Māori (Indigenous peoples of Aotearoa), especially. Her research focuses on whānau Māori living with violence, improving health and social service engagement, cultural responsiveness, and workforce development. Denise is a member of Te Pūkotahitanga (Māori Ministerial Advisory Group for Family Violence and Sexual Violence Prevention). Denise served in the past on the Family Violence Death Review Committee, chaired the Family Violence Prevention Investment Advisory Board, was the Deputy Chair of the Family Violence Prevention Expert Advisory Group, and was a member of the Health Quality & Safety Commission’s Te Rōpū Māori (Māori Advisory Group).

Dr Samantha Keene -Te Herenga Waka - Victoria University of Wellington - Dr Samantha Keene is a Senior Lecturer/Pūkenga Matua in the Institute of Criminology at Te Herenga Waka - Victoria University of Wellington. Samantha's research interests include rough sexual behaviours, contemporary adult pornography, and the rough sex 'defence'.

Prof Nicola Gavey - Waipapa Taumata Rau | University of Auckland- Nicola Gavey is a professor of psychology at Waipapa Taumata Rau, the University of Auckland, who researches gender and sexual violence. The focus of her current Marsden-funded research is on the normalisation of physical aggression within everyday sexual scripts.

Nikki Denholm MNZM - The Light Project- Nikki Denholm, MNZM, has a health background specialising in sexual health and gender issues. She founded The Light Project, which equips rangatahi, FV/SV and youth health services to positively navigate the new online sexual landscape.  

Jo Fink - Ministry of Justice -Jo Fink is a Principal Analyst at the Ministry of Justice. One of her areas of focus is people in the justice system who have experienced or perpetrated family violence and/or sexual violence.

Sandra Dickson -Hohou Te Rongo Kahukura - Sandra Dickson (she/they) is a Pākehā researcher who works for specialist agency Hohou Te Rongo Kahukura in the intersections of family and sexual violence and Takatāpui and Rainbow communities.

Cherida Fraser - NZPC: Aotearoa NZ Sex Workers Collective - Cherida Fraser is the Wellington Regional Coordinator of NZPC: Aotearoa NZ Sex Workers Collective - a peer organisation supporting the health safety and rights of sex workers. She recently worked on an international research project exploring sex work, sexual violence, access to justice and support across four different legislative frameworks.

Dr Debbie Hager - Dr. Debbie Hager has worked for over 20 years at the intersection of family and sexual violence and disability – disability caused by violence, and violence against disabled women. She is currently a member of several advisory groups ensuring that disabled people are included in all government policies and processes to prevent and respond to violence and abuse, and working with VisAble, a disabled person led organisation that is developing multi-agency responses for tāngata whaikaha, d/Deaf, Adults at Risk, and disabled people experiencing violence, abuse and neglect, and working to build capacity in the sexual violence, family violence and disability sectors.

Dr Kate Taylor - MEDSAC -Kate has been working as a sexual assault forensic examiner based in Hamilton since 2009 and leads both the Waikato NFSSAS and sexual assault assessment and treatment service. A long standing MEDSAC member and passionate Lead of MEDSAC's Training and Education Group she has recently become Board Chair.

Paulette Benton-Greig - AUT - Paulette is a senior lecturer in the AUT Law School where she teaches and researches in the areas of gender, sexuality, and law. She has a particular focus on sexual violence and criminal justice issues. Before she was an academic, Paulette worked in social services responding to gendered violence, health and justice issues.

Detective Inspector David Kirby - NZ Police - David has been a member of NZ Police for 38 years working in frontline and the Criminal Investigations Branch. For the last nine years he has been the manager of the Police response to Sexual violence and Child protection. This includes having oversight of policy, practice procedure and ensuring the training specialised investigation staff receive is fit for purpose.

Whetu Horo - Te Rau Ora - Whetu is a passionate youth advocate and leader in Māori wellness, dedicated to empowering rangatahi through cultural connection and innovative initiatives. With a strong background in suicide prevention, violence prevention and community engagement, Whetu strives to create positive change for future generations.

Imogen Stone - Dear Em - Imogen (Ngāpuhi, she/her) is the Acting Programme Lead for Dear Em at HELP Auckland, where she supports young people to become leaders in sexual violence prevention. She has a deep passion for empowering young people as leaders, uplifting their voices, and believes in working alongside them as partners to achieve a shared vision for a safer Aotearoa.

Sylvia Bellingham - Rape Prevention Education - Sylvia has spent the last six years working in sexual violence prevention, with the last four years spent at Rape Prevention Education in Tamaki Makaurau. Her passion lies in fostering open and realistic conversations about sex and sexual violence. Having worked closely with rangatahi in schools over recent years, she believes more conversations are needed about rough sex and choking and is excited for this korero.

*Please note some sessions are subject to change 

Victoria University of Wellington are honoured to be hosting this cross-sector symposium in association with MEDSAC, The Light Project and University of Auckland. 

A special thanks also to the Australia and New Zealand Society of Criminology for their support in helping us to host this event.