This could be you... Time is ticking slow. The crowd goes silent as the ball glides, tickling the keeper's fingertips, only to have found itself stopped in top bins. You run to the corner flag, James Marchant is there, waiting for you for a big embrace. The whistle blows, the crowd roars and you hold up the trophy and win the UMMSS2025 Ballon d'Or.

That will probably happen at the UMMSS Futsal Tournament happening this Saturday 10am-2pm at Unimelb's highly esteemed, exclusive and prestigious pitch... the hockey fields xD.

5 a side. Round robin. All welcome. $25 per team. One winner.

And to all that come, as one has said in the past: "Muchas gracias afición, esto es para vosotros SIUUUU!!!!!!!!"

P.S. vigilant refereeing and VAR will pick up any rogue sliding offences. you have been warned.