Beginners Temple Night: Trilogy Part 2 - Boundary Boss

Welcome to Part 2 of the Temple Trilogy.

Feel free to dip your toes into one or two or immerse yourself in all three, each with its own theme: 1. Body Attunement (Jan 16th) 2. Boundary Boss (Feb 15th) 3. Reclamation of YES (March 17th). (Don't worry if you didn't attend the first one, this will be potent in itself). Let us first fill you in on our version of a temple and then we will share the juicy details on this particular theme below…

Find Part 3: here

A temple is basically a sober + sensual + vulnerable space to consciously connect with humans at your own level of intensity + involvement. It invites embodied rituals for you to find your authenticity, desires and boundaries. A temple can bring you closer to your inner world (things like relational patterns, somatic-er0tics, belief systems, emotional states, and so much more).

You get to experience yourself through meeting the other. The intention is to 'unbecome' everything you are not and allow the intimacy to evolve you. A temple is for the brave who want to meet their edges and say yes to more messy pleasure and also practice their 'fuck-no's'.

It can be an experience of self development and also just a space to have a delicious time and fill your cup through community care. This temple is specifically designed for beginners, people on the fresh paths of (er0tic/sensual) self-development and experienced templers who want to meet themselves with a beginners mindset again.

While a temple is generally quite a woo-woo thing, because yes magic happens there, this is not your new age tantric temple. It is our intention to gently introduce you in a very relatable way into the world of temple that focuses on the personal journey of the heart and body through foundational education.

Beginners Temple Part 2 - Boundary Boss: A self inquiry into your embodied 'no' (Feb 15th) 
Part 2 of the Temple Trilogy is all about feeling into+figuring out your boundaries and developing the skills to communicate them. The crucial and first part is to get an embodied sense of what your body and heart actually say no to. We will also look at how sometimes reality is more nuanced than a simple 'yes' or 'no' but often sounds like "it depends" and how to navigate that with the tool of consent. We will be doing the powerful work to learn to trust your bodies signals, advocate for yourself and be aware when your truth changes. We will be self inquiring: How can I trust my 'yes' if I don't trust my 'no'? Only when you are confident in your boundaries, can your desires arise with integrity - and we will practice that with a huge amount of compassion.

We will also dive into the sticky and uncomfortable parts of being on the receiving end of boundaries. How do I receive and respond to a 'no'? We will practice becoming a safer person to say 'no' to and getting better at taking rejection. We are also playing with the idea that we all f**k up sometimes and all have it in us to (unintentionally) cross boundaries and violate consent. Rather than pretending that it is possible to avoid that, we are raising our skills for check-ins, good repair and apologies. 

This is another beautiful opportunity for the shadow work: we are exploring the people-pleaser, being afraid to hurt other people's feelings, the need to appease, the crossing of boundaries, the avoidance of repair, telling people what they want to hear instead of the authentic truth. By looking at those contracting parts of yourself, you can liberate yourself from fear and move into the embodied 'no' and arrive at your authentic 'yes'.

A temple can be a place for you to:

• practice your body awareness (yes, no & maybe's).
• meet your depth.
• express and be seen in your messy human-ness.
• expand your relational and sensual patterns.
• practice your agency in terms of needs+boundaries.
• enjoy the magic of human connection+intimacy without any agendas attached to it.

A temple follows a certain structure. We open together as a group with the introduction of everyone and set the collective agreements for the evening. You are then offered guided practices and rituals that support you to drop into your emotional and physical depths, such as consent, connection and touch exercises (note there will be no nudity). After this we move into an open space in which you can explore what is alive for you within the agreements, which can look like dancing, cuddling, trying out fun things from the Altar of Pleasure (like feathers and floggers and other sensation toys), playfighting or even a little kissing (depending on how spicy you are feeling). At the end, we make space for integration and close the temple together with a little sharing circle.

What a temple is not:

• a sxx party, a place to hook up or find quick+fast dating culture
• a place for any kind of gen1tal stimulation or stronger sxxual connection including full nudity

It is open for all genders, sxxualities, ages, roots and we welcome people with all relationship forms. If you are in a couple, then there must be an opening for you to work with other members of the group at your choice of involvement (e.g. eyegazing, physical touch, etc.). We strongly encourage you to have an honest check in about needs + boundaries in your relationship if you decide to join while being partnered.

This is a non-heteronormative space. We don't match anyone according to their gender identity. You have to be open to meet your own gender as a human at your choice of involvement.

If you live a disability of some form, please eMail us to see how we can accomodate the space to your needs.

Schedule

5.50 Doors open (please don't arrive earlier)

6.05 We start (doors close - don't be late, no exceptions!)

6.05 - 10.30 Opening, guided part, open space

10.30 Closing

11.00 Everyone out of the space

"Slow is the new safe"

is how Berlin's temple priestess Celeste González highlights that there are no such things as 'safe' spaces and we couldn't have said it better. This is because 'a safe space' looks different for everyone. Together we create an enthusiastic, ongoing consent culture. We sloooow burn to not overrun what wants to be heard, seen or felt. You will be equipped with tools in the guided part that support you to navigate your own experience.

You will never be asked to disregard your needs or silence your boundaries. You do YOU. Your no's are empowered just as much as your yes'es.

You are encouraged to go at your pace, intensity and level of involvement at all times. You always have a choice and the right to change your mind. We practice self responsibility - you know yourself best, so who are we to tell you what is good for you.

Intimate doesn't mean sxxual

A temple is an invitation to step outside the box of what you know. Unfold curiosity, playfulness, creativity. A temple is a chance to explore the many ways to experience pleasure. Embrace the awkwardness that intimacy -oh- so often naturally brings.

For many of us it is a healing experience to be intimate without any goals+agendas attached to it. It creates a sort of freedom that isn't often felt in our culture.

We strongly encourage you to bring all of your human-ness. Temples put a focus on expression which includes er0s and er0ticsim. You don't have to be sxxy but you can if that feels authentically alive for you. You are handed the permission slip for your shameless expression, whatever that may look like for you (for some of us this looks like screaming into the void and telling everyone to fuck off).

Let the unknown turn you on.

What we offer

• movement to develop body awareness
• connection exercises to meet yourself and others
• consent education
• new inspiration for touch and play (everything from feathers to playing with the floggers and paddles)
• ritual
• integration to harvest your learnings instead of the temple being yet just another experience consumption

All things of organisational importance

This is a curated event:

We want to make sure the group aligns with the intentions of the space. If you decide you want to join, you buy a ticket and will find a link to fill out some questions for us to get to know you in your confirmation eMail. We reserve the rights to refund your ticket if we don't feel your alignment. We will not grant access to the temple without receiving your form. Please make sure you fill this out immediately after you receive your confirmation eMail.

A few collective boundaries:

• This temple is non-penetrative space where the undies always stay on (meaning no sxx or gen1tal touching).
• Please arrive on time and sober.
• We have a strict no phone and content policy.
• Please plan to stay until the end (of course you can leave if you have to).
• Visiting a temple night has the potential for profound processes and may affect your emotional world - are you ready for this? A temple has no space for intense 1:1 support, however this is something we both offer as an aftercare service.

Venue:
The Button Factory @ 2 Abbey Street, Auckland CBD, Auckland 1010

What to bring:

• You and your body temple clean (please avoid heavy perfumes/scents)
• A full water bottle
• A sarong/towel if you want to get oily (bring your own oil)
• Snacks if you cannot go without for the temple time (have a light meal before)
• Things of importance to you for the altar if you want

Dress Code:
Come in what makes you feel like your fuck-yes. For some this is lingerie, for others leggings and a tanktop. Make sure you feel comfortable+sensual and can move well. We always advise to bring layers to take off and put on top. You can enter the temple in your comfy wear and there will be break to change into a more temple-y outfit if you like.

Refund policy:
You can request a refund up to seven days before the event. There are no refunds available afterwards but you can transfer your ticket to someone of your same gender identity. Please send an eMail to hello@bodiesandpleasure.com with the name who you transferred it to.
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About the facilitators 

Robbie (she): I am a trauma-informed Somatic Therapist, Narrative Therapy Counsellor (Masters degree) and bodyworker with a deep love for movement, creative expression and deepening the relationship to the body. I am devoted to creating spaces for people to explore their embodied sense of safety and boundaries both with self and others.

I thrive in holding spaces for people to explore their own edges and shadows that can arise within the relational space through embodied sensing and conscious communication. I believe that shame thrives in secrecy, and by creating opportunities for shame to be expressed and witnessed - we also create opportunities for those stories and beliefs to be re-written.

My work as a narrative therapist has a focus on dismantling and deconstructing power dynamics and structures that impact every single human on this planet and supporting people to take up their agency.

I am also the Co-Founder of Leaders of Love, hosting international retreats with a core focus on conscious connection and somatic-based therapy.

Find me on instagram @robbienofear and @leadersoflovecommunity @aucklandtemplenights
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Marry (they/she): I am a queer+neurodivergent Lisbon based temple facilitator and work as a sxx educator. I am trained as a sxx- and relationship therapist, as well as tan/tra teacher. I founded Lisbon Temple Nights nearly three years ago and gathered a thriving community of templers there.

My zone of genius is to create relatable+grounded spaces for er0tic intimacy away from any spiritual dogmas. I hold people's hands while they find their authentic expression and love them through the shadows+shame+darkness that comes up. People feel like they are finally allowed to REALLY JUST BE when they come to the spaces I create. I am here for the shy and the brave who aren't afraid of their own fragility+power and dare to stare their demons in the eyes to make love to the messiness of life.

Find me on instagram @bodiesandpleasure_ and @lisbontemplenights @aucklandtemplenights