"A boundary is not a NO to someone else's existence. It's a YES to yours."

- Boundaries by Jeff Foster

Welcome to the fifth of our weekly Boundaries with Friends workshops at the lovely Folkestone Bookshop!

This week we will be exploring energetic boundaries! I realise that to many this is going to sound really weird (I definitely thought so when I first came across it!), but I have found for myself that if I hold an intention in my head for myself or for others, I am sometimes able to communicate it without having to actively communicate verbally or physically. I've also noticed that if I then choose to communicate verbally or physically it affects the quality with which it is expressed. We will be exploring this as well as exploring where our energy ends and someone else's begins and how we can protect our energy and the energy of others. I make no absolute claims that this works or the reasons for it working- I just know that whether it is a placebo effect or there's something else occurring, I find it helpful and I would like to share it with others who may also benefit from it.

As always, please bring your string boundary if you find it useful (I'll have mine!), as we start each session with a guided meditation and grounding in our own space. If you haven't been before, you will receive a string boundary if you'd like one, and we always have chocolate and tea as part of the session.*

This is intended as a safe space for everyone to recognise what our boundaries are and how we can express them to each other. They can be energetic, spatial, verbal, non-verbal, physical, intellectual, intentional, and a lot of other things, and we are exploring the nuance of them and the emotions that stating and receiving a boundary can inevitably bring up. I provide techniques for dealing with these emotions and there is a breakout space and lots of permission to do what you need to regulate your nervous system.

As a facilitator, please know that I wholeheartedly welcome and celebrate your "No" as well as your "Yes" in the space. All of you is so welcome and will be listened to. It makes me feel safer running the workshops knowing that you're actively looking after yourselves and saying what you feel comfortable with. If it feels difficult to state boundaries verbally, please know that your non-verbal cues are equally celebrated and will be equally listened to. That's what we're here to practice!

I also ask that we be present and respectful in the space with ourselves and with each other. We're all different and have different needs and experiences, so please be kind to yourself and others. Some of us may be more spatially sensitive, others more noise sensitive, etc. If a boundary needs to be set, please receive it and give it with love. It's in this way that we keep ourselves and each other safe and can learn from each other. Ultimately it's how we build trust.

Location:

For those who haven't visited before, we will be based at The Folkestone Bookshop, rightly described as our "Radical, independent, locally-owned bookshop and community hub": https://www.thefolkestonebooks... run by lovely people, and the amazing Jay will be with us on the night.

If you're coming by car, here are some cheap parking suggestions: https://smart-parkings.com/whe... you're arriving by train to Folkestone Central, it's an 18 minute walk.

Accessibility:

We have a ramp for wheelchairs/ mobility scooters and the space has soft lighting and fairy lights, soft ambient music and comfy, soft furnishings.

Stimming, comfort items and fidget-toys are actively encouraged.

If there's anything I need to be aware of that would make you feel safer in the space, please let me know as soon as you can in advance of the day. We go through all the exercises slowly and gently and have a tea/ chocolate break half way through.

If you know that you are particularly sensitive to group settings, especially with people you don't know (yet!), I encourage you to look after yourself before and after the workshop. Grounding and resourcing yourself with whatever makes you feel good (be it food, a walk, meditation, a bath etc). You can also imagine yourself and your energy protected by a golden bubble of light.

And lastly, if you're curious about these workshops but have any questions or worries prior to the event, please let me know and I'll be more than happy to talk it through with you! Please know that I honour and respect your decision either way! 🧡

Thank you for your courage and curiosity and if you feel you'd like to join, I can't wait to invite you to the space!

*(If chocolate doesn't do it for you, please let me know if you need another grounding snack! Since I will be buying them, my boundary is that it's something plant-based. Thank you for listening to my boundary. 🧡)

My most loving, holding vibes to you if you'd like them,

Gwen