More dates

Colonel Vipers Whipstick Band@Golden Vine

This event has passed Get tickets

Event description


Get On Board for the WILDEST XMAS Party Ever!!

Colonel Vipers Whipstick Band will be out in all their glory to run a muck at The Golden Vine Hotel

On this particular night, I saw Colonel Viper himself staggering towards where I was sitting waiting for them to play. He came closer and sat down on the grass. A girl who had accompanied him spoke to another band member nearby ”…he was passed out in his tent… I had to dress him…”. I looked at the Colonel who looked more than a little worse for wear, he looked angry and when he was engaged by other members of the band he seemed vague and slow to respond. The other members spoke to each other quickly ”B, D minor, G, B seventh diminished, D minor.. you got that?” Suddenly the Colonel springs to life.. he is on stage in 5 minutes ”Fuck” he says ”I’ve left my drink card in the tent”. The others look at each other worried ”I’ll be back” he says and staggers off into the darkness.

Somehow he manages to get back, UDL can in hand he sits holding his head on the stage as sound people and stage managers try to wire up the Whipstick bands banjo, guitar, bass, drums, spoons, washboards, flutes, saxophone and more. Occasionally the colonel’s eyes dart around the crowd angrily. The bands reputation has preceded them, and there is a large audience waiting for the show. He pulls out a gun and waves it at the crowd, aiming then swinging around to aim elsewhere. Eventually the sound is sorted out and the bass player thanks everyone for coming to see ”the shittest band of the whole festival.”

The banjo player is dressed up like the Beatles from Sergeant Peppers, and the bass player is in a safari suit with a gold cap. The Colonel looks like the jazz master from an old swing band except without the smile. I feel like I’m on acid and the year is 1921 and the band starts cranking out ”Mr Sandman…. bring me a dream… make him the cutest that I’ve ever seen”. The crowd goes wild. The Colonel is singing in typical pre-war warble. I didn’t even think he would be able to stand up. Between verses he finished off another two UDL’s. During the bridge a man dressed in a suit passed a massive reefer around.. the music is feverish and crazy.

I didn’t get a photo of the entire band dry humping the colonel, or a photo of Mr Viper simulating oral sex, or when he pulled down his pants and wedged the microphone into his ass cheeks, or the cans of beer being thrown across the stage intermittently, or when the drunk from the crowd tried to hijack the microphone and the Colonel looked at him and said ”This is where you tell us you want hear something you know. And we say no, we’ll playing something we’ll know.” I was too busy dancing my ass off to The Viper, Mack Daddy’s High, the Sesame Street theme song, Land Down Under, You Shook Me All Night Long and more unlikely songs that had the whole tent jumping for more.

Colonel Viper… I’ll see you next year.

With Support "Oombahweed" their material is described as an alternative folk pop 90's style.

A Reunion gig after 30 years after the bands Heyday.

Don't be afraid  Tickets $10

Powered by

Tickets for good, not greed Humanitix donates 100% of profits from booking fees to charity

Refund policy

Refunds are available up to 1 day prior to the event