Embodied Mothering : Reclaim your anger (Raglan)

Mamas, this is your invitation to come back to your full energy and aliveness.

Here's what I know through my experience as a mum and somatic trauma therapist - when we block our anger we exhaust ourselves. Trying to be calm all the time is a recipe for burn-out and apathy.

At the same time, we absolutely want to protect our kids from scary anger we might have experienced when we were little.

I want to guide you in reclaiming your anger as a resource for your mothering journey. To harness this vital force of energy, protection and assertiveness in service of you and your kids.

In this experiential workshop I will :

• Share the three principles of healthy anger

• Break down layers of guilt, fear and shame you might have from experiences of unhealthy anger

• Lead you into ways to move this vital energy source that leave you feeling uplifted and empowered. This will involve moving and making sounds!

I am so looking forward to sharing these liberating understandings and practices with mums in our community so we can support each other in mothering with more energy, joy and love.

I understand that it can be vulnerable to enter a space with others where we are bringing our emotions and hearts into the mix. I encourage you to be brave! And if you have any questions about attending then I welcome you reaching out to me at chloe.waretini@gmail.com any time ❤️

Testimonials:

"I’m so glad I attended Chloe’s ‘Embodied Mothering’ event. It taught me healthy ways to express anger that my child or I may be feeling, to not hide or try to suppress my emotions. That it’s completely okay to feel anger! The event itself got me completely out of my comfort zone in a good way! It was such a beautiful experience to share with other Mothers. I felt really supported in my vulnerable moments. I'm definitely using some of your techniques with anger this past week and gosh my daughter and I sometimes end up laughing after the release and outbursts."

"The Healthy Anger workshop was really helpful and I would definitely attend more if offered in future. Chloe creates a safe, non-judgemental space to share and learn. I left feeling like I had permission to feel my anger rather than to spend energy trying to suppress it all the time. I now recognise anger as a symptom of unmet needs, and that it needs to travel through and out of our bodies in a safe and responsible way."

MY STORY

Kia ora, hello. I'm Chloe. Proud single mama, trauma therapist and nervous system alchemist.

I support mothers, babies and children to reconnect with the innate intelligence of their bodies, resolve trauma, and remember what it means to be truly alive through my Embodied Mothering approach.

Before becoming a mother I knew myself to be a kind and gentle person and I rarely expressed anger. Mostly I viewed anger and aggression as something scary that needed to be under control so as not to hurt others. I’d say I had a pretty strong aversion to it.

Then along comes my son, who I am so deeply committed to loving for who he truly is. He was born full of fight. So strong willed and intense. And from around 2 years old this manifested as frequent aggression.

Now at 4 years old, his favourite way to play is to fight and wrestle. Without a good dose of it each day he is really disregulated - demanding, uncooperative, can’t relax and settle for sleep, can only palate high carb food and wants to dissociate through watching videos.

This was so hard for me! I felt exhausted, dominated and like I just wanted to get away from him. Then one day as I was taking a moment to breathe myself back into being available to him, I had a big realisation. I was really really angry!! Angry about having zero physical space, at being ‘forced’ to play fighting games I hated, at being his favourite punching bag. And keeping this emotion contained was making me so tired.

Anger and aggression are vital forces of energy within us. If we repress them, we have less energy available. And keeping that lid on the pressure cooker takes even more energy.

Does this make sense of why mums are so tired and kids have so much energy??? Would I have more energy if I let myself inhabit my aggression too?

I wanted to do this in a way that wouldn’t be too frightening for Arthur so I did some research. I learned about the difference between cold anger (anger with disconnection) and warm anger (anger with connection). I started to experiment with games that we could play when I felt myself getting tense and wanting to disconnect.

As a trauma therapist, I carry the extra weight of awareness of what happens when boys who don’t have healthy channels for aggression grow into men. If it can’t come out directly it will come out sideways. And as a solo mum I knew that if I didn’t embrace my own aggression then I would inevitably suppress his. So I was determined to get to the bottom of this!

Arthur and I have now found some seriously fun ways to connect in anger that we both enjoy. I took him as my mentor in expressing anger and now I can bring the full force of my mama rage to our play and enjoy the connection and energy boost it gives me. I don’t feel dominated anymore, I feel liberated. And definitely a bit wilder. Sharing these learnings with other mums is one way I hope to uplift the culture of mothering.