Before the Gratitude, the Grief

November asks something of us.

The year is turning toward its end. The light is shortening. The natural world is doing what it has always done in this season: letting go. Not with apology. Not with excuses. Not with grasping. Not with a plan to make it mean something. Letting go in trust and in surrender.

Modern cultures have largely forgotten how to do this.

Instead we arrive at Thanksgiving tables carrying the unspoken weight that has been compounding year after year. The weight of the losses named and unnamed, the sorrow that lives untended, untouched and the isolation of trying not to burden others with our pain. We arrive at the holidays and we’re handed a fork and asked to feel grateful. And we try. And maybe we are grateful. But inside grateful… or alongside it, grief, too thrives.

Gratitude is real. It is a profound and necessary act. But it cannot be rushed past grief. It can only be deepened by it. The two are not opposites. They are the same love in different forms.

Together, they point at a deep and honest longing.

Together, we invite them to be with us this season.

This is a radical act… this decision to carve out a regular and dedicated time each year to grieve as a doorway into this time of thanks-giving, merriment, and the closing of the year.

What This Is

The Grief Integration Ritual & Retreat is a two-day immersive grief ritual weekend on the Oregon Coast — a gathering at the edge of land and sea, where the year can be met with the fullness it deserves.

We gather in a circle, in ceremony, in song, and in silence. We move through the body. We walk the coast. We let ourselves be held. We listen. We slow down. We soften. We feel.

This is not therapy. It is not a workshop. It is something older than both: the ancient human practice of grieving together, in community, in connection with the non-human world that has been holding grief far longer than we have.

We will be guided by the Six Gates of Grief— not as a curriculum, but as a map of the places in us that have been waiting to be visited:

Everything we love, we will lose
The parts of us that have not known love
The sorrows of the world
What we longed for and did not receive
Ancestral grief passed down through the blood
The harm we have caused

We will be inspired by Joanna Macy, Sobonfu Some, Laurence Cole, Rain Crowe, and many other wise teachers and wisdom keepers.

Our time together will be one part turning towards the natural world as an ally in this work and another part turning towards our human family as we remember and re-imagine how to grieve in connection.

Why November. Why the Coast.

The ancient festivals of the dead cluster here — Día de los Muertos, Samhain, All Souls' Day — not by accident. Something in the turning year has always known: this is the season for reckoning with love. With what it costs to love, and what we are given for having loved anyway.

We go to the Oregon Coast because the ocean is not a metaphor. It is a teacher. It has been moving in waves for longer than grief has had a name. Standing at the edge of the Pacific in November, something in the body remembers what the mind has tried to forget: you do not carry this alone.

The forest, the wind, the tide — these are not the backdrop for our healing. They are participants in it. The non-human world has its own relationship to loss and release. We come to grieve alongside it, as siblings.

You Are Welcome Here If You Are Carrying:

A physical death. Relationships that have changed form. The aging of your body. The end of dreams you once held so intimately. Expectations unmet. The grief of a body that changed. Estrangement. Addiction. Loneliness. Suicide. Families split up. The loss of human rights. The suffering your ancestors endured. The sorrow of watching the world you love under threat. The unnamed ache at the close of a year that cost more than you expected.

You do not need to have your grief organized. You do not need to know what you're grieving. You only need to be curious and willing to keep returning home to yourself.

The form

Friday, November 13 – Sunday, November 15, 2026

Arrival: Friday at 6:00 PM | Close: Sunday at 10:00 AM

Private retreat home, Cloverdale, OR — exact address shared upon registration

Nourishing, whole food provided throughout the weekend (Vegan with dairy options)

Shared accommodations; limited private rooms available by request

Capacity is small by intention.

Registration

Your registration holds your place in a small, intentional circle for the full weekend: Friday evening arrival through Sunday morning close. Lodging and all meals are included.

We have limited scholarships available for People of the Global Majority and QLBGTIA+.

FAQ

Is this therapy? No. This is a grief ritual and community healing practice, not clinical therapy. It is informed by the work of Francis Weller, Sobonfu Some, Joanna Macy (and more) and rooted in cross-cultural and indigenous traditions of communal grieving. If you are in active mental health crisis, please consult your provider before attending.

Do I need to know what I'm grieving? No. Many people arrive without a clear story or a confused one. You’re welcome whether you have a clear sense of what you’re grieving or an unclear sense of weight or limitation in your life that is keeping you stuck.

What should I expect physically? We will be outdoors in November on the Oregon Coast. Bring layers, waterproof outerwear, and shoes for wet ground. The natural world is part of this work — please come prepared to be in it. The house also has stairs and no elevator.

Who is facilitating? Alyssa Rose. Learn more about her here.

Is financial assistance available? Yes. Reach out directly before registering.

our home for the weekend

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“Grief is a way of loving what has slipped from view. Love is a way of grieving that which has not yet done so.”

— Stephen Jenkinson

grief integration ritual & retreat

The annual grief integration ritual & retreat is a time and space to nourish and resource yourself deeply so you can feel all the way through the depth of your love and loss. This weekend is all about honoring that which has been lost as we come into a time of deep thanks-giving, celebration, and exploration available in the coming years. This retreat weaves together group ritual and sharing with time and space for benevolent solitude, connection with nature, and deep inner reflection.

This Retreat is Designed to:

Nourish, resource, and hold you and all you are grieving and longing for
Honor the losses that have and are shaping you.
Celebrate that which you most love and long for now.
Connect with the Six Gates of Grief.
Create a deep sense of belonging with an intimate group of heart-centered people.
Co-create and participate in community grief ritual.
Educate on the historic, cultural, medical, and spiritual landscapes of grief.
Connect us to the natural world (and the Ocean) as an ally in our healing.

Meet Alyssa

Alyssa Rose walks with those navigating life's most profound transitions. As a Grief Tender and Death Doula in Portland Oregon, she bridges ancient ritual practices with modern somatic therapies to create sacred spaces for those facing loss, death, and deep change.

Drawing from her extensive work with hundreds of families and communities, Alyssa’s unique approach to grief care honors the somatic, emotional and spiritual dimensions of the liminal and alchemical process of grieving.

Alyssa is passionate about creating a grief literate culture that is resilient and compassionate enough to hold us through life’s challenges and uncertainties. It is here that we practice belonging, and transform a culture sick with loneliness into one ripe with connection.

packages

all packages includes

Holistic, nourishing, vegetarian meals (with vegan and gluten free options)
Two nights in a beautiful shared home on the stunning Oregon coast
Beautiful and intimate community grief ritual
Individual and earth based grief ritual at the ocean.
Cacao Circle
Embodiment practices
Sound healing ceremony
Time and space for personal reflection and connection with nature
Grief integration support

The difference in package is specific to accommodation type: Private room (for 1 person), shared room (for 2 people), or the community room (8 people).

a glimpse into our past retreats

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if you have questions

Connect with me

This location is about an hour and 45 minutes driving from Portland.

I will email our final group about a packing list and preparations.

refund policy

Cancelling before 30 days to the event: 50% refund.

Contact the host of Grief Integration Ritual & Retreat 2026