"The work of the mature person is to carry grief in one hand and gratitude in the other and to be stretched large by them." — Francis Weller

What is Grief Tending?

Grief tending is a communal, embodied way of acknowledging and expressing the sorrow we carry in personal, ancestral, and collective. It honors the natural intelligence of grief as a form of praise for what we've loved and lost, and a pathway back into connection.

Many traditional cultures, including the Dagara people of Burkina Faso, consider grief rituals to be the threads that weave a village together. They create space for us to come back into right relationship with ourselves, one another, and the living world.

In this retreat, we are honored to carry the Dagara traditions shared with the West through elders Malidoma and Sobonfu Some), the soulful teachings of Francis Weller, the ceremonial grief songs and elder mentorship of Laurence Cole, ancestral remembering, and the collective wisdom of community. Together, we create safe, reverent containers where grief can be felt, expressed, and transformed.

Wails & Whispers Between the Worlds: 3-Day Grief Tending Retreat

April 3-5, 2026

Location: 18940 Littlefield Lane, Valley Center, San Diego, CA

In this weekend, communal grief rituals are about coming together as a group to be witnessed in our sorrow. By listening to others, we learn to articulate what often feels inexpressible. In this space, we aim to destigmatize grief, metabolize it, and move away from the idea that grief is pathological. This is a chance to co-regulate our nervous systems in the village and be reminded that we are not alone.

We will gather to honor our grief and make space for its many expressions. Together, we will sing, move, pray, and remember our shared humanity through ritual. Our grief tending work will also focus on healing our relationship with the Earth in this time of ecological crisis offering our tears and songs as prayers for reconnection.

Join us as we honor the sacredness of grief and gratitude through talking circles, singing, poetry, movement, sacred listening, ceremony, sharing food, and creative expression. At the heart of our time together, we will engage in a sacred ritual inspired by the work of Sobonfu Some and Malidoma Some of the Dagara people of West Africa.

Grieving in community is an ancient way of tending to the heart. It gives us a place to reach toward each other for the strength, presence, and courage needed to feel what has long been waiting beneath the surface. In sharing space, our own voices often find shape through hearing others. What once felt unnameable begins to soften and move. Here, grief is treated as something sacred, welcomed and held. Together, we create the conditions for co-regulation, release, and the deep remembering that we belong to something larger than ourselves.

This space an invitation to drop into the body, into the breath, into whatever truth lives inside you. Grief may arrive as silence, trembling, song, rage, or tears. It may come as stillness, overwhelm, or a slow, quiet ache. However it shows up, it is welcome. There is room here for all of it.

Our ritual draws from earth-based ways of knowing guided by drum and song, by the rhythms of nature, and by the unseen presence of ancestors and guides. This is a space of reconnection to soul, to the Earth, and to the ancient human practice of grieving together.

You can listen to a 1-minute video of Sobonfu Some speak on Grief Recovery and Ritual.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtUqMwRXvhY

The Five Gates of Grief guided by Francis Weller’s framework, we will explore these five gates throughout our time together:

The First Gate: Everything We Love, We Will Lose

The Second Gate: The Places That Have Not Known Love

The Third Gate: The Sorrows of the World

The Fourth Gate: What We Expected and Did Not Receive

The Fifth Gate: Ancestral Grief

Facilitators:

Laurence Cole — Elder, renowned songwriter and song leader, and gifted ceremonial facilitator

Aislinn Kerckhaert — Kontomblé diviner (Dagara lineage) and ancestral guide

Lisa Littlebird — Song weaver, grief space holder, and sacred musician devoted to healing through voice and ritual

Amy Ma — Founder of SOL Gratitude Learning Village, ceremonial facilitator, grief tending facilitator, and wilderness rites of passage guide

What to expect:

Grief ritual from the Dagara Tribe lineage, altar tending, and earth offerings
Communal song, movement, and council
Kontomblé divination and ancestral guidance
Fire ceremony, silence, prayer, and reflection

Meals & Lodging: Bring your own food and camp gear. Car or tent camping is recommended if your commute is more than 20 minutes. No RVs please. There are also local Airbnb available.

Please bring:

A water bottle & mug and own utensils/bowl/plate
1–2 snacks to share with the group (for a communal spread)
A potluck for Sunday dinner

Sliding Scale Pricing:

$650 Supporting Tier — supports scholarships and facilitator wages
$550 Sustaining Tier — covers full retreat cost
$400 Supported Tier — reduced rate for those with limited means

Scholarship Tier — limited number available for those with high financial need (email Amy Ma SolgratitudeVillage@gmail.com for application)

Accessibility:
Sol Sacred Ranch is ground level access with a gravel parking lot.
The bathroom is ground level as well.

Refunds: There are no refunds. This policy supports shared accountability and offers some protection for the energy and labor of those holding and organizing the retreat. If something prevents you from attending after registering, you are welcome to invite someone else to take your place. We encourage you to coordinate directly with our registration team at least 7 days before the retreat begins, so we can welcome your replacement smoothly. During the final week before gathering, our focus shifts away from administrative tasks and into preparation for the sacred time we’ll spend together. If in case of emergency, our team will evaluate it on a case by case basis, thank you.

Friday

5:00 pm Arrival and Settle in

6:00 pm Introduction

Saturday
9:00 am: Arrival and settle in

9:30 am: Official Ritual Opening, Kontomblé Divination, Group Work, Grief Ritual

Lunch - bring your own sack lunch
Dinner - bring your own sack dinner (make it a light dinner - our deeper grief/shrine work arrives after dinner)
Please bring snacks for the snack table to share with the community throughout the day

Sunday
9:00 am: Arrival and Settle In
9:30 am: Group Work, Grief Ritual

Lunch - bring your own sack lunch
Please bring snacks for the snack table to share with the community throughout the day

4:00 pm Closing Circle

5:00 pm Shared Potluck Dinner

Our Prayer

We grieve because we love. We gather in ritual for the remembrance of who we are.

Together, we create a field of deep witnessing and shared humanity where grief and gratitude stretch us wide enough to live more fully.

Contact: Questions or more information: Amy Ma SolGratitudeVillage@gmail.com Instagram: @SolGratitudeVillage

Contact the host of Wails & Whispers Between the Worlds - April 2026 Grief Tending Retreat