THE LAWNMOWER MAN: THE KOVACS CUT

The LAWNMOWER MAN is weaponised 90s cringe. The tagline of the film sets the tone: “God made him simple. Science made him GOD.” And what is this awesome technology that might uplift a ‘simple’ man to cybernetic immortality? Two words: VIRTUAL REALITY.

Yes, this movie was made at the time where everyone thought the internet was going to be glowing Tron suits battling each other in a cyber-landscape rendered with less polygons than your average children’s block set.

Sure, THE LAWNMOWER MAN has a melodramatic plot and bad acting – that’s par for the course – but what really sets it apart is its desperate straining to say something profound about technological uplift and its inability to articulate that idea in any meaningful way. Oh yes, and 3D ZERO-G VIRTUAL REALITY SEX SCENES. This movie is CHEESY and CAMP but somehow… compelling?

As always, the production of this film is far more interesting than the movie itself – and I’ve got all the behind the scenes tea, such as how Stephen King sued to have his name removed from the story and how this movie inspired David Koresh and the Branch Davidian cult.

But THAT’S NOT ALL. You see, this movie was originally released as in a theatrical cut running a standard 104 minutes that is pretty gosh darn bad. But it was then re-released as a director’s cut running a staggering TWO HOURS and TWENTY MINUTES – which fans say is “not bad” but I found “SUPER BORING.” But now comes the ULTIMATE RELEASE – I’m recutting this film to contain all the best bits of both movies. YES, we are premiering the UNATHORISED KOVACS CUT! (Spoiler alert – it involves a cybernetic monkey kill rampage.)

But will I succeed in making this film RAD – BAD – OR – MAD? I need you to decide, so join us to watch THE LAWNMOWER MAN: THE KOVACS CUT.

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