Massage 101 For Lovers and Friends

Have you ever wanted to connect with a partner or friend through touch that wasn’t specifically sexual but still fostered intimacy? Do you want to give or receive a massage from a loved one, but you don't know if you're "doing it right" or it flares your own pain? This massage workshop is designed to teach you how to both give and receive a massage in a consensual manner that doesn't take as much of a toll on the giver, and helps both people slow down and connect.

Lotus Blooms sex educator, Jay, has a background as a massage therapist (bodyworkwithj), and combines both these foundations to bring you this hands-on workshop. Learn new ways to draw closer together through the use of communication and intentional touch:

• Practice helpful positioning to maintain comfort and flow while giving a massage.

• Slow down to notice & heighten the experience of sensations and your senses.

• Learn ways to ‘listen’ to your massage partner’s body by paying attention to their responses to touch.

• Experiment with different tools (palms, soft fists, knuckles, etc) to create a range of sensations.

• Learn about different ways to connect and relate through touch and how to incorporate massage into sensual, sexual, and/or kinky experiences with partners.

• More specially, learn about how different ways of connecting can play a role in how to get turned on or experience pleasure. We'll talk about responsive v spontaneous desire, as author of Come As You Are, Emily Nagoski describes, as well as the Erotic Blueprints, as somatic sexologist Jaiya describes (sensual, sexual, kinky, energetic, or a combo known as the shapeshifter).

What to expect from this workshop:
This is a hands-on massage class, but it is not a sexual massage class. Everyone will remain clothed and we will not be touching nipples or genitals when practicing these techniques during the workshop. That can be saved for homework. ;) The focus of the content will be on learning and improving massage skills, including communication. You will get a chance to practice on the person(s) you came with & can opt in and out as you choose.

Who is this workshop for:

About ⅓ or more of the class will be practice time, but if you want to come for just the portion of the class where you are learning (and you leave when practice time starts), purchase a single, “presentation only” ticket.

Otherwise, this class is designed in a way where you will need a massage partner for this workshop, so tickets are sold in 2s. Your workshop partner can be your life partner, someone in your triad, a date, or a friend. You’ll need someone you are comfortable touching and being touched by.

What to bring:
Per two people, please bring 2 pillows or bolsters and one yoga mat (or something comparable to sit on) so that techniques can be practiced on the floor if possible. Chairs will also be available and able to be used in addition or instead. Attendees are welcome to wear whatever they like, but gym/yoga clothes will be the most comfortable/work the best for giving and receiving massages. If you’d like to practice with oil/lotion, please bring that as well. Specialty massage oils will also be available for purchase at the workshop. Bring socks if you want to take your shoes off!

Massage Workshop Medical disclaimer: By joining this class, you are assuming all medical responsibility. This class assumes any attendee would have clearance from a doctor and that massage is not contraindicated for any condition. As You Are DC, Lotus Blooms, and J Sheffield are exempt from all liability, past, present and future.

Meet your Educator!
Jay (they/he) from Sex.EdWithJay, has been an educator for the past 5 years at Lotus Blooms, a health and education-based sex shop in Old Town, Alexandria that centers and celebrates queer and trans joy. Jay is passionate about helping visitors make informed decisions and feel more connected to their bodies and desires. Previously, Jay worked as a DC-licensed massage therapist (BodyworkwithJ) practicing consent-based bodywork, with a sliding scale prioritizing QTBIPOC. Jay loves any excuse to dance, eat, drink, travel, and spend time with his queer community, his cat, Little Boop, and the ocean. 

Space logistics, accessibility, and vibe?

This space available is on the second floor of As You Are, accessible via one flight of stairs. Apologies if this makes the event inaccessible for you! Jay also teaches this class in Old Town, Alexandria for Lotus Blooms on the ground level.

You will have the opportunity to meet and mingle with fellow attendees before the event starts, during intermission, and after the class if you wish, but the class itself is not a mixer. Make it a friend or partner date night - please enjoy AYA and come early or stay late for a drink and food (alcoholic and N/A options available). If you drink before the class, please just do so responsibly so that you can show up in a respectful, learning mindset! Doors open at 6:30. Class starts at 7 and technically ends at 9. Jay will be available till 9:30 for class-related questions.

The Fine (and Enticing) Print 

• Workshops generally run about 2 hours with a 15 minute break in the middle. 

• Afterwards, attendees will be given a one-time discount code for 15% from Jay to shop online or in-person at Lotus Blooms, 1017 King St., Alexandria, VA 22314.