Daylong Men's Grief Ritual: Saturday, April 26th 10am-6pm - Sonoma County, CA

“Be a man. Man up.” Patriarchy has taught men to hide our feelings, that crying is a sign of weakness, that grief is bad for business. But sadness is a necessary emotion and left stuck in the body, grief leads to violence, anger, and war.

Bell Hooks names in her book Will to Change that “the first act of violence that patriarchy demands of males is not violence toward women. Instead patriarchy demands of all males that they engage in acts of psychic self-mutilation, that they kill off the emotional parts of themselves. If an individual is not successful in emotionally crippling himself, he can count on patriarchal men to enact rituals of power that will assault his self-esteem.”

It is time. Time to do the beautiful hard work of creating space for grief. To welcome tears, to address the trauma and grief lodged in our bones. It is time to end cycles of pain and war perpetuated by men. To be with the ancestral patterns of our lineages that caused hurt. We will gather to use grief as a tool to welcome greater connection and healing between men. To plant the seeds of healing and wholeness in our lives, our relationships, our communities, and our world. We will gather to offer our tears to replenish the well of masculinity. To reimagine how men can relate to one another. To create space for our sorrows to be welcomed, witnessed, and befriended in service of belonging, community, and kinhood.

We invite you to join us on this journey and reimagine male culture as one that holds grief and pain together in community and with deep reverence and honor of creating a new paradigm of healing and masculinity.

The space will be held by Coby Leibman, Ophir Haberer, Hunter Franks, and Ty Blair.

For the daylong ritual, we will gather in a secluded cove on the coast. We will create altars and a field to court our grief, our longings, and our prayers. We will oscillate between individual and collective preparation. We will enter a ritual anchored by song, rhythm, altars, and community support.

// FACILITATOR BIOS //

COBY LEIBMAN

Coby (he, they) is a Somatic experience practioner (SEP), ritualist, diviner and youth mentor. He was trained directly for over 15 years by the wise ancestors, Malidoma Somé and Sobonfu Somé (Dagara indigenous spiritual teachers, authors), and indigenous elder Martín Prechtel (carrier of Mayan Tz’utujil tradition, author of bestselling: The Smell of Rain on Dust). Coby has also trained directly with Peter Levine and Gabor Maté. He has been leading group rituals for over fifteen years. He carries his teachers’ teachings with integrity and reciprocity with the peoples they come from. He is descended from a mix of European and Central Asian peoples, including Ashkenazi Jews.

OPHIR HABERER

Ophir(he/him) is a Jerusalem-born facilitator, educator, somatic therapist & guide, massage practitioner, culinary artist, ritualist, poet, and organizational consultant. He has been guiding men’s work for over 6 years, co-founded the organization kinhood and has facilitated for numerous organizations all over the country. He is passionate about working with clients to move trauma through the body. He studied with the Hakomi institute and the Esalen Institute. He has led ritual in the Earth-based and Sephardic Jewish tradition, and facilitated a few series on rewilding Judaism.

HUNTER FRANKS

Hunter (he/him) is a father, artist, grief tender, and builder based in the Bay Area. He is passionate about creating communal spaces for feeling, for belonging, and for falling apart. His practice encompasses community-based public art, rituals, visual work, writing, nature quests, and installation. His apprenticeship with sorrow began in March 2020 when his mom Andrea died, and it has radically rewritten how he interacts and connects with the world around him. He is a trained facilitator in the Ways of Council and in the Work That Reconnects and recently completed a Grief Tending Mentorship program through Sacred Groves in the Pacific Northwest.

TYGER BLAIR

Tyger is a teacher, mediator, spiritual surgeon, guide, mentor, and sacred Gate Keeper (as the term was held by the venerable teacher and scholar Malidoma Some). Over Tyger’s years thus far on our planet he has cultivated skills and talents in the disciplines of spirituality, holistic healing, theater, grief work and organizational consultation. Personal and professional development along with the aim of all stepping into both freedom and pleasure are Tyger’s key vocational objectives.

Tyger has spent over the last decade working with inspiring and notable teachers, Malidoma Some, Sobonfu Some, Resmaa Menachem, Francoise Bourzat and Drs. Joanna Macy, Ibrahim Farajeje and Joy DeGruy’s Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome work. The work with these teachers has spanned a West African spiritual cosmology, trauma of various iterations, Sufism, Buddhism, sacred medicine work and healings, and Joanna Macy’s “The Work that Reconnects”. Tyger had the honor of joining teacher and scholar, Joanna Macy in the offering of dharma teachings at San Quentin State Prison on the Tibetan Buddhist Shambhala Prophesy. Those particular dharma teachings with the incarcerated ones and non-incarcerated volunteers enlightened not only those in the sangha at San Quentin but also infused Tyger himself with the Prophesy’s tenets of leading with the tools of Insight/Wisdom and The Heat of Compassion whenever possible.

Contact the host of Mens Grief Tending and Grief Ritual

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