Too often the experience of ENM* folk is a paradox of creating intimate relationships with partners but not feeling safe and accepted by wider society. We don't just need partners, we need connection to community.

*Ethically non-monogamous is a broad term that includes a range of relationship styles. This event is welcoming of all people who identify as ENM, allies and those who are ENM curious.

Join us for an evening that draws inspiration from yarning, sharing and women’s circles. This event uses research evidenced exercises where we will softly lean in to expressing our most genuine selves and hold space for others to do the same.

Our capacity for creating intimacy in friendships is a learned skill. In this space, we will explore what’s holding us back from connecting to our people with gentle exercises for our emotional intelligence. These activities will have us flex our intuition, stretch our skills for creating intimacy and strengthen our capacity for vulnerability.

What to expect:

This event runs for just over 2 hours.
You are welcome to bring a journal or use the worksheets provided.
Dress so that you’ll feel comfortable sitting on cushions. (Accessible seating is also provided.)
Bring a shawl, blanket, warm socks or other items which make you feel comfortable. Shoe storage is at the studio door.
The room will be set up for a soothing sensory experience and so the group can be seated in a relaxed and comfortable circle.

How the evening will run:

Arrive and settle in

An opening activity to ground and begin connecting to self
Review of agreements
Personal reflection activity, with the option to share with the group
A short, guided, mindfulness meditation

Break for snacks, drinks and personal comfort

Relating skills activity in pairs or threes
Group reflection on the previous exercise
Short journaling break
Somatic movement exercise to close the formal activities

Time to socialise, exchange contact details, as desired, and snack

FAQs

Can I pay at the door?
No. Purchase a ticket online before turning up to the venue.

Should I come with a group, partner or alone?

Any of these is fine. Most people will be attending alone. It is recommended that for paired activities you work with someone not well known to you, but this is your choice.

Do I have to speak or contribute?

No. You can pass when it is your turn to speak if that is right for you. You may observe rather than participate for any portion of the event as long as you observe the group agreements.

What are the group agreements?

The four agreements are:

Anonymity. What is said ‘in circle’ must be kept private.
No interrupting. While sitting in circle, we hold space for the person sharing.
Consensual touch. We seek permission before touching others.
No offering advice. This can interrupt the intuitive process during circle.

Do I have to have any prior knowledge?

No this is suitable for absolute beginners as well for the highly experienced

Who is this for?

ENM folk or ENM curious. It is for all genders, sexualities and allies. If you wonder if you’re queer enough for queer spaces, this space is for you.

Is this kink friendly?

Yes! This event is facilitated by a trauma-informed kink, consent practitioner.

What science or evidence is this based on?

References and resources will be listed on the back of the worksheet for you to take home. This event is informed by mindfulness practices, principles of emotional intelligence (John Mayer and Peter Salovey and Daniel Goleman), research by The Gottman Institute and exercises taken from approaches such as dialectical behavioural therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy and positive psychology. This is not therapy or group therapy. It is purely a social event that explores these themes. The resources list includes how to access services that can provide therapy and further assistance if required.

When are the circles held?

The afternoon of the last Sunday of the month.

Who is running this event?

Trey Emery, a sex-nerd and professional consent advocate working at several SOP and kink events in Melbourne. My presenting style is engaging, funny and relentlessly geeky.

I am delightfully misusing my corporate consulting training and turning my degrees into pevertables. Those degrees are in business and IT project management with a lot of organisational psychology thrown in. I’ve been professionally leading workshops in communication and interpersonal skills for 15 years.

I have been part of the ethically non-monogamous and kink communities in Melbourne for 25 years.

I subscribe to the Kink Educators’ Code of Conduct and am trained in trauma informed peer support. I am passionate about empowering people to have positive sexual experiences, whether that is at a sex party with hundreds of guests or just between partners or alone.