Three Day Grief Retreat, Gualala CA

“Any time a feeling of loss arises, there is an energy that demands ritual in order to allow reconciliation and the return to peace. Grief must be approached as a release of tension created by separation and disconnection from something that we love.” -Malidoma Somé

“All War is unmetabolized Grief” -Martin Prechtel

Come join us for a Three Day Grief Retreat on a beautiful 800 acre ranch along the Gualala river with old growth redwoods and ponds to swim in. We will be unpacking the layers of ecological, structural and political crisis we are in and tending to the grief collectively. We have been dreaming of offering a retreat for several years in the way that Sobonfu Some our teacher held them. Unpacking grief slowly over multiple days and keeping the grief shrine open to work with for most of our time together. The retreat space is in conversation and collaboration with the local Kashaya Pomo tribe on tending practices, including cultural burns. 

Catered meals included by the amazing Chef Ruthie Praskins. Most dietary needs can be honored. 

Accommodation will mostly be camping in a sheltered area alongside a beautiful pond with compost toilets, if you need other lodging there are various rentals close by that we can point you towards. email us at communityritual@gmail.com.

Once you register we will send you a site information document and itinerary of our time together and an intake form to help us attune to your needs over the weekend. 

Retreat overview-
We are living in a world of so much unmetabolized grief causing war, causing divide from ourselves, our communities and the path to co-liberation for all beings.
What we currently see has been happening for generations. It is time for the grief to be metabolized into a new flowering of life-giving beauty. We welcome this ritual to come together and heal as a community!

When we grieve deeply, we create a clearing, an allowance for us to hold what feels unbearable. To let our grief and emotions flow, so that something else can grow from the compost of intergenerational trauma that is not ours to hold, intertwined with our personal losses, gives rise to fresh actions of measured boundaries and compassion. This kind of work must be done collectively and with ritual, so that we are not alone in our grief. 

Sobonfu taught grief as a collective field that needs tending in any community. We are the seeds of generations of love and the wildest dreams of our ancestors. We call upon all their resilience, and our guides, the elementals, and earth spirits to let our grief feed all life.

This three-day ritual event will be held on the coast near Gualala, CA, at a sacred spot at the feet of our majestic Grandmother Ocean. The ritual will be held in the healing lineages taught to Coby and Madeleina by Sobonfu Somé, Malidoma Somé, and Martín Prechtel.

We are committed to offering a safe and open-hearted space for witnessing and letting the waves of grief express themselves as they need to, while tending to the collective community. This is a space that centers the experience and liberation of marginalized communities and those that are most deeply affected by the oppressive structures of racism, capitalism, imperialism, colonialism, the gender binary. We all need each other to do the collective work of metabolizing grief. This is a mixed identity and ancestral heritage space. If you are seeking a specific affinity space, BIPOC or Queer space we are happy to connect you to other circles. 

We will mostly be expressing our grief somatically, letting the body lead us to what needs to move its way through so that we have a deeper ability to feel and to love. There will be many guided practices to help us approach our grief, songs and poems by our community members, writing practices, solo sits, ancestral practices, Zahava Gris will be holding some embodied movement practices to feel into layers of gender magic, eros, gatekeeping, and ritual vitality. 

The grief ritual technology is a tremendous gift from the Dagara to meet the insanity of our world and it comes from long lineages of intact cultures and shrines that know how to work with intergenerational grief and trauma. We always offer back to the source of this ritual magic and the indigenous communities that have taught us these tremendous gifts with 15% of proceeds from our rituals going back into these communities. For the Dagara community, we recently were able to fund a third well for fresh water in the village. It was created with the support and direction of Dagara elders and in collaboration with the Sonder Project. Thank you to all of you that have supported! We are continuing to fundraise for  two more wells in Sobonfu’s village, Zinkoni, to the north of Dano. 

Link to the project here. https://support.thesonderproject.org/fundraiser/4625276

 A lot of ritual power and magic comes from being linked to Dagara shrines and councils. It is a tremendous gift to heal our ancestral lines and our world with this ritual technology!

Community Grief Ritual Retreat
Detailed workshop information and directions will be sent once registered.

To Register:
Pay by ticket here or Venmo to @Coby-Leibman*** We require email communication to confirm Venmo payment sent to: 
communityritual@gmail.com

 Please also confirm in an email to communityritual@gmail.com that you have watched/listened to the video and youtube links below as a pre-requisite to attending this Grief Ritual. We care deeply about honoring our teachers and their ways. Sharing their voices with you is both an offering of resources and an essential pre-requisite for attendance.

We ask that you please share with us any ways that we can support you during the grief ritual and if you feel you’re navigating a large grief, what type of current support you have in place. Please kindly let us know if you believe yourself to be in a mental health crisis. Grief Rituals are tremendously healing, but are not a replacement for therapeutic treatment. We care deeply that this is an appropriate choice for all who attend.

A confirmation and preparation email will be sent once payment and communication affirming the pre-requisite is received. Please register as soon as possible if you are planning to attend. We will not accept registration requests after June 20th. Scholarships and reduced rates are available for BIPOC and other marginalized communities. 

Affinity groups will be available if requested. Please contact us directly for inquiries at communityritual@gmail.com.15% of the proceeds will go to Dagara Empowerment Water Project-

 https://support.thesonderproject.org/fundraiser/4625276

Grieving Resources and Ritual pre-requisites:Sobonfu on Grieving:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtUqMwRXvhY

Sobonfu on community: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R56s7KymWTk

Malidoma on prayer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHbmbTk9-lY

Martín Prechtel on Grief
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUwewfPPSbE&t=22s

From the book 'The Smell of Rain on Dust, Grief and Praise' by Martín Prechtel: (available on Audible, highly suggested)