LUKE HEGGIE: YUCK

Luke Heggie has been dabbling with new trends, such as monetising a contrived identity, and debating actual facts on the internet. But he also has to be able to sleep at night.

If you consider “you love yourself” to be more of a compliment than a preamble to a fight, you use a passport as identification in your own country, you make your kids come and watch you play sport, you develop a lisp when you say a Spanish word, you've ever said that you have a great sense of humour, or you fill up with premium unleaded, then do not come to this show.

The majority used to be a bit more silent, making them bearable. Internet users have described Luke Heggie as a flog, brilliant, a lefty wanker, a fascist, a comedian at the peak of his power, disgraceful, and the best in the land. Come and make your own mind up. Or not. Nobody really cares what you do. No lowbreeds please.